U-turn
In a surprise decision, Wellington Mayor Kerry Prendergast today announced that the inner-city bypass will be scrapped. "We had faith in roads to solve all life's problems, but it hasn't turned out like that at all. It seems that while east-west commuters are saving a few minutes, north-south commuters have had to pay for it with increased delays, and overall, the project hasn't been worth all the money and hassle."
The council and Transit NZ are now working to repair the damage. State Highway 1 traffic will return to the old route, but with a small toll. "We saw from the last few year's figures that commuters will switch to public transport when petrol prices are high, and that the only way to reduce congestion in the city is to make public transport more attractive than private cars," said a Transit spokesperson. "The toll will help fund a 50% reduction in bus and train fares, effective immediately." Karo Drive will be replaced by narrow streets with pedestrian priority, flanked by mid-rise medium-density housing, workplaces, shops and Tiki bars. At least half of the development will be affordable housing, and every new building will be built to the highest ecological and energy efficiency standards, including small-scale wind turbines, solar power and green roofs. Transit are actively seeking out the former inhabitants of upper Te Aro to offer them free rent for the next five years, in atonement for the disruption that they have faced.
The final stage will be to put into place a long-term vision for sustainable Wellington transport, including light rail to the airport, powered by a small new wind farm on Mt Kaukau. "We can't keep talking about sustainability and carbon neutrality without doing something bold about it," said Ms Prendergast, while enjoying a cup of freshly-roasted coffee at Havana with her husband. "People will look back to the first of April 2007 as a great day in Wellington's history."
14 Comments:
Love your April Fools work my man - Imagine it!
...I hate you.
Oh, if only it were true, such a nice dream.
Sadly, even the first few lines where just too unrealistic, though I will confess to having a very low opinion of the WCC, so I'm probably not the best test case. :)
-- Brett
And a happy april fools to you to Tom !
Love the reference to Prendergast and her hubby at Havana!
speaking of havana and her husband... nice to see that the mayor and her hubby have adopted the George W Bush mentality to democracy.
I'm the mayor so screw you.
Happy April Fools!
Wouldn't be fantastic if that dream were to come true in the not too distant future? :-)
The bypass would make a very superior skateboard area.
But how is it panning out a week or so into it? Staff seem to be turning up on time again, so they're either getting up earlier or the buses are getting through at last.
I particularly like how it's appearing in the Wellingtonista News Feed.
lolz @ "Tiki Bars"
In addition, Mayor Jenny Brash reported that she no longer supports Transmission Gully Motorway and would prefer a high quality light rail link from Waikanae to the Airport.
You could be forgiven for thinking that this press release was also sent on April 1st: "Council Wins Award for Sustainable Strategic Planning"!
hey! that guy who's been putting up video on PA system is sending me a copy of his dvd when he's finished editing it.
before you ask, it's about deflating myths around public transport etc.
but... i need help setting up a viewing somewhere.
ideas. and no. no april fool.
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